Last night I think it sank in we were really moving back home.Wow.I have the picture of the house(that's what I call it)as a screen saver.Along with all the google earth pictures I looked at,I could actually see where I want to put stuff.
Now let me explain this groove thing. You know how you get lost in life? When you're younger you have all these dreams of seeing where you want to be(that's me anyway),and as you go thru life you find yourself on the 'roller coaster" and you just want to get off. When you do you don't know what to do or much less how to do. You have a tendency to muddle thru each day and you're still wandering not only in body but in soul too? You've lost your groove in life. You wonder when you will get it back if ever. When I want to get mine going, I put on some music that reminds me of a time I was in that state of mind. Well I have done that and I found my beat ,my music that's deep inside. My dance,my moves.I'm 53 and can still feel the happiness inside. We don't lose ourselves,we just have a bad habit of putting it on the backburner.I decided I'm tired of that. How you find your groove,your music,your inspiration,your moves,listen to your heart sometimes. Tell your head to shut up. Find that one thing that turns you on and turn up the volume! Feel silly expressing yourself?,don't be.If you look around you see people doing so many positive things with their life. I was raised in the 60s that should tell you something. But I wasn't raised in a hippie fashion,my parents were very strick. When I left home I went wandering all over this nation and seen some really strange things but I also saw people who were very charismatic,very open about how they should live their life. I have always wanted my home to express how I live.That's why I have been setting up a certain look that will keep me calm and relaxed. I've earned it.That is the kind of person I want to be who I should be.Someone told me long time ago,they said I was mean.I didn't think so but now looking back I was but didn't realize it.I was stressed out and mentally screwed up.And no matter how much I tried I stayed that way.Yes I tried meditation and yoga and all the other stuff but I still could not get into "that" frame of mind.Now I think I can.
I'm still going to see my shrink when I get home and see a regular doctor. I have to but I feel I can handle things better. I also think I may have been looking in the wrong place here.I thought being out here would ease some of my problems. It hasn't. I need to be in my atmosphere my kind of settings.I'm lost here. I'm a woodsy type of gal. I like the country settings,that's me. We all need to be quiet inside ourselves sometimes.
POINT BEING? Find who you are,do what calms you,don't let someone tell you it's wrong,be charismatic,have good vibrations,see the beauty in this world,love yourself and pamper yourself.
I can see if any of this does or doesn't make sense I'm just in a different frame of mind tonight and wanted to get it out.
